About 6 months ago I applied for permission through our commune here in Fredericia (Denmark) to hometrain my son & to be honest I really did think that our break was finally here & that I would get that permission because the whole survey in order to get the hometraining was going quite smooth & all in all it looked like I would get it – also because the caseworker who had my case said that she didn’t see any reason for me not to get that permission but when the local infant visitation committee had to vote they said NO & the reason for giving me the no was that they are saying that my son has no diagnosis, that is one big lie because my son just recently got the diagnosis: Neurometabolic disease!!! My son is missing folic acid in his spinal cord & in so great a degree that it has never been seen before in my son’s age, doctors don’t know how to cure this (other than my son has been given some pills which contains folic acid) & therefore the doctors are still trying to find the cure & that means that my son still has to go to several examinations, blood tests, brain scans etc. So all in all the commitee are concluding that all of this means that my son has NO diagnosis & therefore they feel like giving me the hometraining would be TOO experimenting for my son (Are they freakin’ kidding me? So the fact that the staff at the kindergarten are restraining my son in a chair every day is not EXPERIMENTAL not to mention human rights violation???) – wonder if they even know that I actually gave birth to my son!!! Of course I will NOT accept this rejection because everything inside of me is saying that I need to hometrain my son in order to give Tobias (my son) any hope for a decent life. Again there’s a law here in Denmark that says that all parents should have the right to take care of their “sick” children & the reason for saying no (the commitee) is not even legal because my son has a diagnosis & the law says that the child’s needs must be cleared out & my son’s needs has been cleared out from every aspect there is.
Today I got a phonecall (after calling her like 100 times) from the caseworker who had this case & I began explaining her that Tobias HAS a diagnosis & the reason why he’s still going to hospitals is that we need to sort out how to cure him & that I really couldn’t understand why they would make up nonsense like that etc. but all she did was “washing her own hands” & just telling me that my son is getting everything he needs at the special kindergarten – that’s the worst thing she could tell me so I began telling her what my son doesn’t get at this “fancy” kindergarten: NO physiotherapy, NO speech therapy, NO training of his hands, NO time with “normal” children & all of these things, Tobias would receive if I hometrain him & all she said was this: Oh but it’s out of my hands now & this kindergarten is the best thing we can offer your son!!! Yeah it’s like THE ONLY offer we get for Tobias!!! But as the mother & woman I am, I called our commune & got an appointment to get a meeting with our Mayor, then I will tell him a truth or two – I will NOT stand with this behavior or the way they are treating me or my boy!!! Tobias has a right to live & has a right for getting a chance to develop & being free. What if this hometraining means that my son could at least get 50 % better than he is now??? Or get totally well again??? He has been like every other child but somehow it went wrong with his development & why treat “symptoms” if you can get rid of the problem itself??? Who will take some responsibility, – I WILL!!! I CAN!!! I will show those people the true power of motherhood!!! They haven’t seen nothing yet. I might have gone through a abusive relationship, had a depression, gone through a custody case that lasted for 3 years but I am still standing & was I right in every thing I told the State Administration??? YES because the dad did give upon his son & now only have him every other weekend (nobody believed me back then) – Have I been told by several doctors & psychologists that my son was TOTALLY brain damaged (a MR scan proved them WRONG) & he would NEVER be able to walk (he IS walking) & even been told that I could might as well just wait on the day where my son would be able to do absolutely nothing other than laying in a bed looking into the wall, OH YES that I am definitely NOT waiting on because that will never happen. I will fly around the world to get the right treatment for this neurometabolic disease if I found a doctor who knew about this disease but for now I will have to settle with the hometraining & we will get it!!!
Where do I stand right now??? Oh well I am going to write the biggest complaint one have ever seen!!! I am going to a meeting with our mayor & believe me if this doesn’t help at all I will also go to the press, I will not stand for this!!! We are getting that hometraining, maybe not as soon as I hoped but it will come – I know because I have God on my side & this too shall pass. But I will admit that my batteries are low & I am tired, frustrated, sad, angry, furious but most of all I am winning this case for MY SON!!!
Since we got the rejection I tried to look differently at our everyday life & we might not be able to train from the mornings & we might not get the help that we need but I have decided that I will train Tobias when he is home from kindergarten, of course I can’t train him as intense as if I got the hometraining because I need to look out for my son & it would be TOO MUCH if I trained him as intense as the hometraining after he’s home from kindergarten but at least we can train a little & maybe that can make just a tiny improvement for Tobias & then I can show the commitee that I mean this seriously. So will start training Tobias’ tactile sense, his smelling sense & get him to use those hands as he once could. This might not be the road we hoped for but at least it’s a road of some kind 🙂
We are not victims but victors