I feel nothing but pity for my ex!

Really!?? Can’t believe the phone call I received this Saturday from my ex. He called me in the morning (it was his weekend with Tobias, our son) & he hadn’t even had Tobias for 24 hours but he called me & told me that he had thought about this for a long time & discussed it with his current girlfriend too & now he had come to a conclusion; He doesn’t want to have Tobias home every other weekend anymore, my ex thinks that Tobias is getting to demanding & also he can’t handle Tobias anymore due to the severe “disease” Tobias has (I guess there’s a reason for Tobias being sad when he comes home to his dad’s & there several people in the apartment, painting the walls, Tobias only sees his dad every other weekend) – also Tobias isn’t very good in crowds & especially not when it’s people he doesn’t know very well . Then he had the nerve to tell me that he of course ONLY does this for Tobias & it wasn’t because he’s being selfish. OMG did he really say that & on the phone? What happened to getting together & talk about our son face to face? But okay my ex is just being an ignorant selfish person – as always!!! He broke my heart right there (as he has done so many times before). Okay I have been through hell with this “man” so of course I might as well admit that I have thought: oh sometimes life would be easier if he wasn’t on the sideline trying to demand this & that. But really was just thinking those thoughts on my own behalf because I have been in a abusive relationship & he drank way too much. Then he had the nerve to put me through a 3 year long custody case but none of the “professionals” could see through his games & lies so I lost the case twice & had to share our son with him on a 50/50 term, poor kid – I could see how this “living situation in a suitcase” was breaking my son down, slowly but steady but no one wanted to react on my cries for help. Then after the terrible custody case my ex finally woke up & admitted that Tobias was better off with me & only going home to his dad every other weekend.  I knew my ex loved his boy & really I understand that children needs both their parents, my ex might have been mean to me but knew that he would never hurt Tobias in any way (even though he did hurt Tobias when he chose to go through that custody case) but now he doesn’t even want to see Tobias at all!!!??? Gosh, how can a parent just cut a child out of his/hers life? I can’t imagine my life without Tobias at all; he is my blessing – my everything. I feel sad for my ex – to think that he is living with a woman who is (sorry) but she is 31 years old!!! Shouldn’t she know any better? I would definitely leave a man who couldn’t even provide or take care of his own child & to think that they are actually trying to get a baby together, it’s beyond my imagination how a woman can stay with a “man” like that. But guess my ex & his girlfriend are hoping for a normal child, one that doesn’t require a whole lot of different help etc. My ex even dared to say this: “I think it’s best that you are the one dealing with Tobias while he’s sick & if he ever gets normal again then I can have him back in my life”!!! – Sorry mate, you just excluded yourself from this amazing & unique boy & you are & will MISS OUT!!! I will never let you have him living with you again for a weekend.  But the thing is: how do I react to this? A part of me think that it’s truly for the best that Tobias has nothing to do with his dad since his dad doesn’t help in any way trying to help our boy out of this misery & disease that he’s having. & also his dad is always criticizing me in every aspect he possibly can do so at least I might be a happier person now & that means I will be a better mom too. But then I think about my son & his feelings, when he’s old enough to understand life etc. then what? I will do anything in my power to make sure that Tobias never feel this neglect from his dad & also Tobias needs to know that he is my Superman & he can do anything he wants to do even without a daddy in his life. I will be his daddy & mommy at the same time; we can do this #TeamTobias

Who would want to miss out on this little boy? NOT ME!!!

But I sincerely hope that there are some “professionals” sitting out there in the private homes having a very bad conscience, after all I told them over & over again that someday my ex would neglect Tobias terribly & boy was I right but guess my ex is too good of a player & a charmer beyond any charmers you will ever meet. Just can’t believe that i had to fight this custody case & all I’ve been told the last couple of years is that my ex is entitled to see his son & I couldn’t do anything to stop it etc. but okay where was my son’s RIGHT for a peacefully & stabile life? Well at least his “daddy” gave up now, but will pray for him in hope that he at least changes his way of being this ignorant, selfish, mean person if he’s about to have a baby again with his current girlfriend. Truth be told, Tobias didn’t “just” lose his “dad” he also lost an entire family since Tobias will no longer see his family on his “dad’s” side & really I can’t understand how come they don’t even react to all of this but I need to be selfish for myself but also for my son. They are for sure missing out but they know that they can call me anytime & drop by for a visit!!!

But will admit this: Everything is going to be alright & at least now I can fight the system on my own without a “daddy” trying to ruin everything for my son & me. Tobias & I will get stronger together. I decided to keep Tobias home from kindergarten for some time, while I am fighting the system & getting them to understand that my boy needs help & that he can’t be in a kindergarten where they are restraining him in chairs, he’s getting no training at all etc. Tobias is around 1 year old mentally (if not less) – you wouldn’t put a 1 year old kid in a kindergarten!!! So of course my son needs to come home & get a lot of caring, help, training but most importantly Tobias needs love & PEACE. We need peace & rest to get back to life.

About majasf

Single mom
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One Response to I feel nothing but pity for my ex!

  1. Love the blog and am really feeling your story. You know where you have me and that is right beside you :o) Still can’t get in into my mind that he actually took this desicion just like that. I love and support both you and Tobias.

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