Tobias & I: In our own little universe….

 

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I knew I loved you before I even met you

But looking at you laying there on my naked chest

Endless love rushed through my body and I cried happy tears

You were my new universe

The blessing I needed

Our bond was strong from the beginning

Just you and I in our own little universe

Whenever I felt alone, one look at you made me feel oh so loved

Being blessed with you made me break through

I felt bad for leaving your daddy but it was needed

Some day you will understand

We moved into a new home, just you and I

You were talking, laughing and smiling, developing

But the fights with your daddy broke me down and I got a depression

But the sight of you and the feeling of you needing me kept my head above

I got better but you didn’t

In our own little universe, but it was soon shattered

You had to be shared between two parents after 9 months only having me

One week away from me, and you were gone

Where did you go?

Daddy and I had a war, I was fighting for you

Every time you had to go to him, you looked empty and you screamed

Things was ruined, all I could do was to fight

But the system failed over and over again

I even considered running away with you to some place far far away

Just to keep you safe and sound

Finally after 3 years we won, Tobias

You finally could have one loving home instead of two where the last was chaotic

In our own little universe, we are still laughing together

But you are still sick, nobody knows what’s wrong

It hurts me so much to see you struggling

But sometimes, I see a glimpse of the “old” you

Giving birth to you, a healthy boy was a blessing

Losing the healthy boy after two years was a nightmare

But together we can fight this

In our own little universe

      Just some thoughts about my amazing boy, Tobias – healthy or not, he’s my life! I love him endlessly no matter what the future brings us! We will always stand together, I will always fight for him.  Some days are just tougher than others, some nights I cry a lot. But I just need to release from time to time. That’s how I cope and deal with the pain, the pain of not knowing what’s wrong with Tobias. Seeing him in the eyes, it’s like he wants to tell me something but the missing language keeps him from doing so! Being the mom to Tobias is a blessing and there’s a reason why God chose Tobias and I to be together!

With Tobias, I’m stronger.

About majasf

Single mom
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