My baby boy turns 6 tomorrow and I can’t believe how time flies.
I still remember it as it was yesterday, I came into delivery and spent the entire day there, just anticipating seeing my precious little baby for the very first time and my gosh, it was wonderful and I of course cried happy tears. Little did I know; that a year and a half would pass in pure joy before our nightmare would start and Tobias would get very sick. I’m happy, I didn’t know but then again, if I had known, I would have recorded him saying mom every time he said it because today I truly miss hearing that word from his sweet little mouth. BUT tomorrow is a happy day as all days are even if they can be filled with trouble.
I, for sure am thankful each and every day I get with my precious boy. I’ve been told by doctors that I shouldn’t count on Tobias to become very old. Actually two years ago, I was told that he might not make it and that he could be totally gone mentally before turning 5 and tomorrow we are celebrating his 6th Birthday and Tobias is not gone mentally. He might be very behind in many things but his smile, oh my, his smile and laughter can brighten up even the darkest alley!
No matter how many words, I use on describing the love I have for Tobias, I will never ever fully be able to explain it and I think that’s the way it is to be a parent. The love we feel for our children is endless and we will do anything in our power to lift them up!
It’s no secret that ever since Tobias was born, we have kind of lived in our own little bubble, just him and I. Some days, I’ve felt like it was us against the world and in some ways, I guess I’m right and I’m so thankful that I’ve been fighting the way I have and that I haven’t given in to all the judgments from doctors and all the other ‘professionals’ that have seen Tobias and given me all their negative point of views without even knowing what’s wrong with Tobias. Sometimes I feel like writing a letter to them to let them know that they were all wrong and that they should really think twice before giving a single mom all the negativity. One thing you should never try to steal is HOPE!
Tomorrow Tobias’ dad and his girlfriend and their boy are coming by for brunch. I really don’t know why I invited them, must have had a pretty fabulous day when I decided to do so. Now, I’m really not that happy about it, but I don’t ever want Tobias to feel like he did something wrong and that he’s the reason for not seeing his dad that often. My ex is the only reason and he needs to grow up and take responsibility but until then, I will be the one trying to let Tobias have a dad as well.
My beautiful little boy, Tobias.
You are my little miracle and even though you are struggling, you need to know that you are so very much loved! I might be the one trying to get you back to life but do not ever doubt that you are the one person who has taught me the most about life! You teach me something new every day and my goodness, you are a champ! You might be a child and you might not understand this but you are a role model in so many ways! You fight and you surprise us all! Thank you for choosing me as your mother. I’m honored that you trust me this much!
Happy Birthday to my most precious gift in life! I love you, Tobias!
Tomorrow is a joyful day and it’s the day where I, six years ago, met the world’s most brave little boy who truly changed my point of view upon so many things! If I was in doubt before what love is, I’m no longer in doubt! Love makes you go that extra mile and love truly makes sure that you will never stop fighting for what you believe in.