Almost Time….

August is just around the corner and that means that my son is starting school. Actually him and me starts school together because from August 5-12, I’ll be going with him and spend some hours in his class and then we’ll go home again.

August 12 is the official date where Tobias starts school, without me.

It’s really not because I want to spend hours in that class but since I’ve been hometraining my son for a little over a year, he needs a gentle start and so do I! Gosh, it’s so weird to think about and I know it’s going to be super tough to be without my little champ but I really think Tobias will benefit a lot from it. He can’t stay home with mommy all his life, I guess.

But I do hope I can keep my mouth shut. You see, one thing I’ve always been told throughout my entire life is that I can be too honest and I should sometimes just bite my tongue. I have very strong opinions and I think that’s a great feature but I’m also aware that it can scare some people away and don’t want Tobias’ teachers to be “scared” or annoyed by me. I just know better when it comes to my son and that’s no lie! But sometimes I need to give others the benefit of the doubt. I’ll try, let’s see how it goes.

Naturally it’s a special class he’ll be attending and the teachers there seem so sweet and caring. The nightmare from the special kindergarten, Tobias once went to is still deeply rooted inside me and I’m trying all that I can not to let it influence me too much.

It’s always difficult for a mommy to let her child go and this will be the second time we have to go through this. Back when he started kindergarten and now after hometraining him, I have to let him go again and let others take care of him. I’m a control freak, that’s no secret! Trusting someone else with my child is a huge challenge for me and I can almost cry with the thought of not being around him, keeping my eye on him and being able to kiss him whenever I want to but I know this is all part of life and to be honest, this is for the best for Tobias. He needs some challenges that I can’t give him and he needs to be around other children as well. I just have to adjust and hey, it’s not like he’s moving in at the school.

I’ve been talking a lot to Tobias about school and the teachers and he smiles every time so that’s definitely a good sign.

But the start of this new chapter of our lives will be quite stressful, I know that. Because of the new lifestyle (diet) it takes a lot of time preparing foods, snacks and drinks and once I start working again, the hours to do all of this will be limited. Also I still have to train Tobias in speech and movement all that I can. Don’t think I’m not aware that every mommy is busy etc but I’m really bad with changes and I get stressed very easily and that’s why I’ve decided to get session with a mind-set coach, have my first session August 8. Hopefully she can help me with becoming calmer and more stress free and stop thinking negatively. Because I do that A LOT! My worries about my son and his health are getting bigger and bigger, there are some big changes happening inside my family as well and some other things I don’t feel like sharing. So all in all, it’s been some rough days/weeks and I know that I need help to stop the worries, it’s really not helping anything. I’m perfectly aware of where my problems lies but I need the right tool to move on. So let’s hope this coach is ready for a challenge as well.

I’ll make an update once we’ve started school.


About majasf

Single mom
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