It feels like forever since I posted a blog post so I’m doing that now.
To those who don’t know me, I’m a 28 year old single mom to me precious son, Tobias, who turns 7 in March. He’s sick from some unknown disease and doctors are giving up – or oh well, they say they aren’t all of a sudden, but right now it feels like they are just fumbling around instead of contacting doctors from other countries. It’s quite frustrating that they won’t try at least because right now, time is just passing by and I can’t get any help at all when he’s without a diagnosis but we’ll manage. We have to!
I’ve started school and I’m taking subjects, I never thought I would and it’s boring me so much, sadly. I’m not sure how to get through this class but I’m trying, really I am. I want to be educated so I can provide for my boy in a better way, but dang it’s rough when your brain isn’t cooperating with you. I just want to write my own books and not having to deal with economics and business (must be the most boring subject ever!).
Last week I’d just arrived to school when my son’s teacher called me to tell me that my son was injured. She sounded very nervous and I just knew it was bad. Luckily, I had borrowed my mom’s car that morning so I could pick my son up quickly. My heart was racing and I almost cried while driving to his school. I arrived and it was serious. My boy was sitting with another teacher. His lip was swollen but that was nothing compared to that huge gash he had in his forehead. Instantly, I cried and took my son in my arms. He looked a mess. Thankfully, one of his male teachers offered to drive us to the ER – it’s in another city and I was in no condition to drive by myself plus I had to keep a cloth to my sons forehead since it was still bleeding… A LOT!
These pictures aren’t even that bad – but I didn’t want to post a too clear picture of the gash.
My son’s unknown disease means that he’s like a baby but he can walk (short version told) – unfortunately, he doesn’t have the reflexes to use his arms if he falls so he’d fallen hard onto a metal bar. A kid was running and accidently came to push my son. Anyways, a doctor glued it together and we went home again. But dammit, it’s been a mess getting the deep gash to heal and today (ten days later) it’s still not going too well. When he has to sleep, he starts messing around with his hands, and keeps touching his forehead. It’s quite scary to have a kid without the ability to tell you how he feels and it’s even more scary that you just know he doesn’t have those reflexes so now, I’m keened on stating to train those as soon as he’s all healed up – how I’m going to do it, I have no idea but I’m going to!
I just hate what happened in school and yes, I’m aware that this is what happens with our kids. They get injured and blah, blah, blah but for the longest time, it’s just been my boy and I. I have enough difficulties letting others taking care of him and when stuff like this happens, I just want to keep him at home. I know it sounds stupid and my boy deserves to get out where there are other kids and the special school can give him something that I can’t, but the bond between Tobias and I is something very special. We’ve been fighting together for years. Not only with his sudden disease that started when he was 1,5 – 2 years old but also with a custody case etc. It’s been some tough years and yet, we’re still standing – going stronger than ever.
Just a little update for those who cares 🙂