I wasn’t sure I would write a blog post about this…. But I’m going to since it’s been on my mind a lot since it happened.
My ex (Tobias’ dad) has a sister with two kids and their dad lives in the same apartment complex as me. I haven’t ran into my ex’ sister often and usually, I succeed in avoiding her.
Tobias and I often visit my parents and one of them always drives us home (luxury, I know). The other week, my dad had just parked the car, when I noticed my ex’ sister was sitting in her car, but I avoided looking at her while grabbing my bag in the backseat of the car. Tobias and I said goodbye to my dad and just as I thought we were safe (right before the entrance door) she came running out and shouted after us. I wanted to run inside with my boy, and just ignore her, but how on earth do you do that when the woman is shouting? So, I politely turned around and said hi. My boy didn’t pay her any attention at all and why should/would he? He hasn’t seen her in almost a year and before that, he didn’t see her that often. It’s actually almost a year since Tobias saw his dad and that side of the family.
She dropped to her knees, all dramatically, and kissed my boy and hugged him tightly. Even a fool could see how uncomfortable my son was with this. He obviously didn’t know what to do and he didn’t want her hugging him. See, my boy is the kind of kid you need to create a solid relation to and it will be lost if you don’t see him often. That’s just the way it is.
I was trying to take it with a smile, hoping she would disappear quickly but no, she kept hugging my poor kid; talking about how big he’d become, and that she actually had been wanting to send gifts for Christmas and birthdays but never came around to it.
My fake smile was still on display while I was thinking; “Yeah right… besides, we don’t need any material gifts from any of you.”
Then she asked; “Do you remember to take Tobias to the regular appointments at the hospital?” – In my head I was like; Seriously, you just asked me that? But, my voice politely answered: “Yes, of course and they still have no clue on what’s wrong with him…”
Then she said his teeth was very crooked…. Why criticize? Besides, all children’s teeth look a mess when they are changing… everyone knows that! And so what if he ends up with crooked teeth? Does that really matter? Think whatever you want to, but don’t point out stupid things in front of my boy.
It was embarrassing standing there knowing that she had no idea on what was going on with my boy or how much he has actually developed since he saw his dad the last time. To be honest, I wanted to shout at her, tell her what a complete incompetent family she is from and how lousy I actually think they ALL are. But obviously I didn’t do that – I’m well-mannered *coughs*.
Why am I writing this blog post? It’s actually NOT to criticize my ex’s sister but how selfish can one be? If her and I had shared eye contact she could have waved but to run out of your car like that and hugging a boy who you haven’t seen for a year. A boy who is not like any other child… that’s just selfish and very wrong! It took almost ten minutes before I could get my boy away from her and get inside.
Tobias looked lost and it was obvious to me that he was upset… Not in the upset way he can be if for instance, my mom leaves after having a cup of coffee or something like that. No, this was the same upset boy, I’ve seen whenever I had to leave my son with his dad. The emptiness in his look, was something I hadn’t seen for almost a year. I embraced him and said everything is fine and he smiled a huge, genuine smile to me.
But it did make me think about it. Is it just me thinking it was rude of her? Was she doing the right thing? Maybe I’m just too angry to talk to that side of the family. But then, I discussed it with others, and they all agreed that it was a weird way of reacting of her and that she should just have waved if anything. So maybe another year goes by before we run into (correction; she runs after us while shouting).
Maybe it’s just because I’m a lion mom and if anything/anyone comes near my boy that has hurt him before, I will ROAR!
The ‘funny’ or tragic part of all of this is, I’ve really tried reaching out to this family but never has it worked so now; go F*** yourselves and know that you are truly missing out on a great boy who is fighting all he can and who is actually doing better and better!